why do you do this to me? can you seriously not tell how much this affects me? It's warring within myself. I can't stand it.

And i'm struggling in my keyboarding class!!! it's keyboarding for goodness sake. how do you struggle? But with Thanksgiving holiday and a trip to Charleston for like ever. I can't do anything in the car because it makes me sick. I haven't got my last lesson posted. And this week's lesson is just about here. And we might be moving. Check that. We are most likely moving. And working full time and school. I seriously don't know how to handle all this. Christmas is the single most busiest time of the year for us. My dad overschedules every year and we are racing to get them all done. My mom is working. So that leaves me and my sister. Except everything is winding down for school for me, too. So I have all that on top of this.


I think sometimes I just forget to breathe! I get so keyed up because I see the big picture. I see all that has to get done. And I create stress in order to get it all done. Instead of crossing one bridge at a time. I like to have one busy day and accomplish everything! I have so much I have to do and I seriously have no clue how I am going to get it done. But I plan on reading my Bible and staring aimlessly out into space tomorrow after my work is done. I need to think, but I think better on paper. with my thoughts clearly (or not so clearly) written out. So I can see what I'm thinking.


Life is simply chaotic right now. and any distractions are appreciated. honest.